We are now back at home, after two weeks of complete over-indulgence in Scotland.
This has been a bit of a shock to the system as I've been (relatively speaking) a paragon of virtue for the last twelve months.
In fact, since I quit the booze I've managed to lose a massive two stone (28 pounds) without much effort. Just before Christmas, I was back to my wedding weight and a size 10 (US size 6).
(For more on post booze weight loss click here: Reasons to Quit Drinking #1 - Weight Loss)
However, during the festive period I dived with abandon into a veritable mountain of food, in the same way as I would have attacked the vino in the old days.
Bacon sarnie for breakfast? Great idea - it'll keep the cold out. Crisps before dinner? Rude not to! More pudding? Well, it is Christmas! Chocolates with your coffee? Well, if you're having one too....
We had a stream of friends and relatives visiting so I was constantly cooking, and they always turned up bearing gifts of more food (and alcohol, obvs).
A whole stilton! Thanks so much. What a massive box of Belgian chocolates - my favourites.
Plus, I was surrounded by endless boozing. Wine with every meal (except breakfast - even my family aren't that bad!), champagne at any excuse, whisky nightcaps. I deserved a bit of a treat, don't you think?
The problem is that, as regular readers will know, I am not very good at moderation. Once I put my foot on the accelerator I just can't stop. I think we drinkers tend to be all-or-nothing people, that's what got us into this mess.
(See my post: All or Nothing)
Yesterday we were driving back from the North and I was clutching a bag full of leftover chocolates which I had convinced myself had to be finished before we got home.
I was 'tidying up' the remains of a box of After Eights when it struck me that I must look just like Mr Creosote from Monty Python's Meaning of Life. "Just one more wafer thin mint".....
IT HAS TO STOP! Either my bathroom scales are malfunctioning, or I have gained five pounds in fourteen days. How is that possible?
So, this morning I was hugely relieved that the children were going back to school and I could get on with all the accumulated chores and start planning the new healthy eating regime.
The first day back is always a bit of a trial, isn't it? Getting out of bed when it's still dark and cold. Making sure they're all dressed in the correct kit, breakfasted and armed with the right bags and books.
I pulled up outside the school gates. It was really quiet. Ha! I thought. We're early! How clever are we?
Twenty-four hours early, it transpired. Not very clever at all. #awks.
Well done, kids! I said, with a forced grin. Great trial run! We'll be really good at this by tomorrow.
Three pairs of eyes rolled in the back seat. They already think their mother is a little unhinged and this morning hasn't helped.
Happy New Year to you all, and HUGE CONGRATS to SFM, Dr C, Pattik, Justonemore and everyone else who has just made ONE YEAR SOBER! You are totally awesome.