Saturday, 13 February 2016

Sober Valentine's

I mentioned a while back that I first spotted Mr SM twenty years ago, at a Hogmanay party, resplendent in his kilt, sporran and tartan socks.

What I neglected to mention is that, at the time, I was snogging his best friend.

I carried on having a tumultuous relationship with the best friend for three years (on and off).

In that time, Mr SM became my best friend too.

He was my go-to person when I wanted someone to laugh with, lunch with, shop with, or just hang out with, whenever the boyfriend wasn't around (which he often wasn't. That should have been a clue).

I would try to fix him up with my girlfriends, then get oddly cross if it worked.

He was Harry to my Sally.

Then, inevitably, the gorgeous, but caddish and slightly unfaithful, boyfriend and I split up.

I knew it was coming, I knew it was the right thing, but I was still distraught. So I called Mr SM, and we went out for dinner at a local gastro-pub (back when gastro-pubs were a New Thing).

I cried on his shoulder. I got drunk. Then I kissed him.

Had I not been drunk, I would not have kissed him.

Because my heart had just been broken, and everyone knows that you don't jump into a new relationship three days after your heart has been broken.

Had I not been drunk, I would not have kissed him.

Because he was my best friend, and everyone knows that you don't mess about with your best friend like that or it all goes horribly wrong. You lose that easy going, uncomplicated relationship forever.

Had I not been drunk, I would not have kissed him.

Because everyone knows that there is a code of honour amongst friends, and your ex's bird is off limits, at least for a decent length of time. We were playing with fire.

So, the moral of this story is: do not regret your past, because it is your past that got you here, and where you are - I hope - is not all bad.

And the other thing it's made me realise, is that just because I am sober does not mean that I shouldn't be - once in a while - impulsive, reckless or stupid.....

.....because sometimes that's where the magic lies.

So, go do something really silly. You don't have to be drunk, you know.

Happy Valentine's Day!

SM x

P.S. In case you were wondering what the reaction of the caddish best friend was, it wasn't good. But he got over it. He's now Godfather to #1.


  1. Dear SM - Happy Valentine's to you and Mr SM. What a great story!! Yes - I certainly have many regrets from my drinking days - but I'm sure lots of it was meant to be - and has shaped my future into this extremely happy life I am now living. Day 42 for me. New - non pregnant record tomorrow - yikes!! And can't believe I'm only 8 days away from my half century. Your posts are still helping me massively. Keep them coming please. Lots of love SFM xxx

  2. I love your stories; and yes, never regret the past, learn from it! Day 44 for me, I'm right there with you SFM.

    Happy Valentine's day everyone.

  3. Yeah, done some daft stuff in the past but had some great times as well. All part of why I am where I am now. Tonight is my 43rd which beats everything since 2002. Still loving what you write SM.


    1. Huge congrats, justonemore! Awesome work! xx

  4. We went to the lantern festival in Chiswick park this evening.. It was beautiful (and freezing!) I avoided the mulled wine and instead drank in the crisp edges and muted colours of all the unusual displays. It's not something we'd usually do on a Sunday night, but it goes to show you can be spontaneous/impulsive without alcohol if you choose to... Although next time I'm taking a flask of hot chocolate!!

    1. So envious, SWMum - I read about the festival it sounded great. We spent ages in huge crowds in Soho trying, but failing, to find the dragon procession!